If there’s any time in life when you need to “do the work” on yourself, it’s after a narcissistic relationship. After all, if you’ve been through this then you know the messy shape you’re in after all of the gaslighting and other insidious manipulation.
It’s an exhausting “mind-mess” that leaves you feeling like a shell of your former self. So then you consider getting help.
You make appointments, or “try” to get it done, but something always seems to get in the way. Things suddenly come up that block you from making the time for yourself and you end up spinning your wheels.
Then more time passes, and maybe you’re feeling “a little better” so you fool yourself into thinking “I’m good”, only to get sucked back down the rabbit hole again of residual pain. You may find yourself being triggered by something, or memories come back like a bad case of PTSD.
So you start believing in the saying “time heals all wounds”. But the problem with narcissistic abuse is that it’s a very deep wound that’s either going to take years to heal (if at all), or deep healing to relieve the pain, get your power back and feel like yourself again.
And the days turn into weeks, which turn into months, and finally years go by. And the REAL healing; the kind that takes you deep into your soul, still hasn’t happened.
Why? Why do you let yourself go on like this?
The truth is that your subconscious mind rules you. You think you’ve got everything under control; but the memories, habits and emotions that are buried there have an insidious effect on your life.
You try to move forward and make progress (this can happen with weight and other areas as well), and then you sabotage yourself again. Anyone who has tried dieting knows how it all works. (That’s why there’s no “ultimate” diet that fixes the problem permanently.)
There’s thoughts and feelings that are buried at the subconscious level of the mind that you don’t even know exist. It could be: “I’m not enough”, or “I’m afraid it’s not going to work because I don’t trust them/me”, or any number of other fears or beliefs.
So it holds you back, the clock keeps ticking and the suffering continues. So what do you do?
When you recognize there are roadblocks that keep holding you back from getting the help you need, you can say to yourself “I’m not going to let my fears or beliefs get in the way of my progress”. And this does take effort, because your self-worth has been pounded down into the ground by the narcissist.
It takes just enough inner strength and willpower to carve out the time and belief in yourself to begin the healing process. But once you recognize that it’s needed and you’re not willing to let yourself slide, you can do it.
You need to put one foot in front of the other and not allow those mental or emotional roadblocks to get in your way. It takes enough determination (and a little bit of self-love) to move past the mega-subconscious mind and fight through it.
And then you can go to work at that deep level to heal the pain, build a strong belief in yourself and know that you deserve a life that’s worthy of the beautiful soul you really are.
It’s time to avoid the paths that will take you off in directions you don’t need to go in, and stop the suffering. I know you can do it, you just have to know that you can do it too.
PS: Are you ready to take that first step to healing, loving yourself and getting your life on track? Schedule a call with me and we’ll make a plan for you based on your personal goals, challenges and vision for your life.
