The insidious trauma bond from a narcissist keeps you in a roadblock where you spin your wheels, and continue to get exhausted. You become drained on every level: Mentally, emotionally, physically and often financially. And getting out of it can seem impossible.
This especially happens because the narcissist doesn’t want to let go; they’ll keep playing you like a piano and pressing your buttons. They’ll tell you they still love you, and then they’ll say or do something that says the opposite. And every time you start getting sucked back in, you end up getting the proverbial slap in the face that reminds you just how fake they really are.
At the same time, you believe you’re trying to break away from them, but chances are it’s going to take a long time to get out of it and you’ll be completely run down. And most likely, your health will become affected. And if it goes too far, you may find yourself with a chronic disease. (Let’s hope not.)
The reason you’re stuck is because you’ve been abused at a deep level: The subconscious level where your emotions are. First you were manipulated with love-bombing, then you were deeply hurt with devaluing.
The mass confusion led you to question yourself (not to mention the narcissist made you believe you’re crazy), and the whole experience has eroded your self worth and disconnected you from your own intuition and guidance.
On the surface, you think you’re in control but you’re not. You’ve been gaslighted to no end, after you were love-bombed. The result was your mind was rewired to not be able to think clearly.
And if you’re in contact with the narcissist in any way, you’ll stay spinning in the trauma bond cesspool with no chance for recovery. This is because the bond runs deep.
The constant game-playing will leave you exhausted, and it just keeps compounding itself:
- The manipulation keeps you mentally and emotionally confused and drained as they use up your “bandwidth”.
- The stress from the experience causes you to not sleep deeply, if at all, so the exhaustion gets even worse.
- This starts to effect your physical health and you can end up eating emotionally and gain weight, or you can develop an eating disorder.
- You may develop a chronic disease if the stress or lack of sleep isn’t dealt with at the core level where it originated.
- You may struggle to work in a job or run your business from all of the stress, exhaustion and interruptions from the narcissist, which drains you financially (not to mention the expense of divorce, medical costs or other expenses related to the trauma.)
So you go deeper into exhaustion, health issues and being financially drained and this can not only destroy your sanity; but your entire life. However, the difficulty is admitting you need help and trusting anyone to support you.
You may feel suspicious of anyone that comes near you, and you don’t feel confident in your own judgment. Then you stay isolated and not supported enough, as the stress and trauma compounds itself.
So before it’s too late, get some support. Stop believing you need to go it alone. Don’t allow yourself to think that you’ve got everything under control, because it’s going to backfire.
This is not the time to think that you’re strong enough to do it all, because the narcissist will wear you down. And sometimes, being strong means knowing that getting a helping hand that’s going to pull you out of the deep, dark exhausting pit you’re currently stuck in is the best solution.
But the challenge for you is to trust in someone else, as well as yourself. To love yourself just enough to believe that you’re worthy to get the help you need. There’s resistance in taking that first step, but it’s needed for your survival.
So, gather your strength and take the leap of faith before it’s too late. If you don’t feel worthy enough to do it for you, then do it or those you love, until you can love yourself enough to make choices for your own benefit.
PS: Join us for the next Live event and get 3 Simple Keys to Reclaim Your Life and Peace. Register Here. Also, are you a woman 50+ who’s coming out of a narcissistic marriage? Let’s discuss your challenges, goals and options to move forward: Book your complimentary Time to Thrive call with me.
