“Five years”. I’ve heard this number from other women.
It’s the amount of time they said it took them to feel like themselves again after a relationship with a narcissist. The amount of time it took to work through the trauma bond, ruminating, regrets, being triggered, feeling worthless, having anxiety, depression and more.
Five years is a big chunk out of a person’s life. It’s allot of time that could be spent being in your power, knowing fully who you are and having strong; healthy boundaries that keep narcissists at bay. Time that could be spent loving yourself, loving your life and loving someone who respects you.
I’ve been in narcissistic relationships. In fact, I’ve been through TWO divorces with narcissists. In-between the two marriages I learned allot, and I developed the tools to turn things around when it comes to moving on from them.
During the time in-between, I had become a Mind/Body Wellness Practitioner, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Transformational Life Coach. And between all of those tools and honing it down to the ones that were the MOST effective, I’ve helped others get results in their life FAST. It’s become my “zone of genius”.
With a total of five offices that I worked in as I moved to different parts of the U.S.; in addition to working virtually, I cracked the code on transformation in life. And it happened because of a pattern.
The pattern was people coming to me that were about to go through a major transition in life. Usually it was one of three areas:
- They were unhappy in their marriage/relationship.
- They were unhappy in their career and knew they were meant for more.
- They didn’t like their surroundings and where they were living, but they felt stuck.
And I found the process that allowed them to have a breakthrough in a matter of weeks: Not months, and certainly not years. You see, just talking about it isn’t enough. We have to go deeper to get results fast and get on with our life.
And when it came to major life transitions, eight sessions was the maximum I would work with clients. (It didn’t take years of counseling.) It was a much faster process and set of tools that were honed to the point that my clients got unstuck and on track fast.
They quickly discovered what they really wanted, they moved past the subconscious road blocks that were keeping them stuck, and with the confidence they needed; they were able to take off like the free bird they truly were.
I watched them leave toxic marriages and be happy in life, I saw them move on to a career or business that was aligned with their true hearts desire, and I also saw them take off to living in environments they actually loved.
The reason they were spinning their wheels was because they lacked abundant clarity on what they REALLY wanted in life, and this lack of clarity was clouded by deep patterns that kept them stuck. And being stuck is a painful problem.
This is also what happens in narcissistic relationships: You become stuck in the trauma bond; and your fears, beliefs and lack of self-worth keeps you spinning our wheels. But your heart always knows the truth, it’s just that you become disconnected from it; particularly after having your self-worth and trust in your own intuition beat down by a narcissist.
The amazing thing is that I’ve been able to take the same tools that have helped others get unstuck and on track in their life, and add a few additional targeted tools for fast and effective narcissistic relationship recovery results.
Although logic tells you that you need to do “counseling” or “therapy” for many months or preferably YEARS, the truth is that when you have the right tools, you get results faster. The key is the tools need to go deep and work at a subconscious level where quick results happen.
Which reminds me of the times when I helped people stop smoking who had been smoking for decades, and had spent years trying to quit. (A session or two helped them go deep into their power, step into their confidence and finally stop smoking for good.)
Recently, someone reached out to me that I had worked with 18 years ago. I knew who she was, but to be honest it had been so long ago, that I didn’t recall what the session was about. It was only ONE session, and she was still talking about it.
At the time, she was single and had pets. She assumed she’d never marry, and felt stuck in this area. In the session we went deep, and she healed a belief around men that was toxic and kept her from being interested in a relationship.
Soon afterward she met someone (her current husband) and also had a beautiful daughter who is now 16 years old. She said that her life changed quickly, and in an amazing way that she hadn’t expected. I’m happy for her.
Currently my focus is helping others heal from the insidious trauma bond of a narcissist, step into their power and live a life of joy, love and fulfillment. (Because I know how painful it is to be in that situation, and I’m committed to help as many people as I can through this process.)
And because I believe that emotionally empowered women will end narcissistic abuse in our culture.
In the past with narcissistic relationship recovery, I had allowed “breathing room” at 12 sessions with clients, but found I could help them work through issues even faster. Then I went to eight sessions. (If more was needed, we could tack them on.) But there’s nothing worse than staring at each other over Zoom and wondering what’s left to resolve.
Instead, it’s time to fly. There’s no time to waste, and why do you need to? When you get past the belief system that re-connecting with yourself, healing the past and creating an awesome future doesn’t take years, then miracles happen: And they happen fast.
PS: Ready to get the helping hand you need to break the trauma bond from a narcissistic relationship and be free to live your authentic life? Book a Time to Thrive call to look at your goals, challenges and options, and whether working together is the right fit. Also, click here to sign up for my next live, interactive event.