It’s not us that the narcissist is attracted to, but the unhealed childhood trauma that they can sniff out like a dog searching for drugs.
Oh sure, they say they find us attractive, and they have us believing that we’re soulmates.
But it’s the hidden wounds they can see that even we can’t.
- They sense our insecurities.
- They know our self-worth isn’t up to par.
- They feel the lack of boundaries that we’ve had for most of our lives.
And this makes us “ripe for the picking”.
They’re drawn to us like a massive magnet, and the feeling is mutual.
They also know there’s a void within us that needs filling, so they begin to pour the fake love into it and put some salve on top for good measure.
And for us it feels awesome.
To someone who was a “daddy’s girl” (which was me, until I was 16 and my alcoholic father permanently left), it filled the deep empty pit inside of me.
And on some level, the narcissist was kind of like the father figure I had lost way back when.
That lost childhood becomes a happy time; a time of feeling like a kid again, and receiving the unconditional love that only a parent can provide.
And the narcissist seems to fit the bill.
They know exactly what to do to build that happiness inside us that makes us feel elated; that puts us high on a pedestal that a loving parent would have put us on.
“Daddy” or “mommy” is finally here to bandage up our wounds and give it a kiss. (Or at least that’s how our inner child feels.)
But the insidious part is that we have no idea what’s actually going on; we only know that it feels awesome, and it’s irresistible.
It’s a slice of heaven on earth. Until it turns to hell, and the narcissist starts devaluing us which leaves us in total shock.
“What happened to that unconditional love I felt?” Is what we ask ourselves. After all, a parent (with any sort of conscience) wouldn’t turn on us.
What’s happened is that we’ve been duped.
You see, I worked this out after having gone through hell and back myself, and through my healing work as an intuitive mind-body wellness practitioner with a background as a high-level analyst.
One of my talents is being a “Sherlock Holmes” of the mind. I love to figure out what really makes people tick. (And I also want to know the inner-workings of my own heart and mind.)
Also, after having been through it twice, I never wanted it to happen again.
And after spending quite some time piecing the narcissistic abuse recovery puzzle together, I discovered that little gem: The hidden secret that very few victims see or understand.
And the problem is they struggle for YEARS, not knowing this is one of the key components as to why they haven’t healed completely from the narcissist, and even more horrible: Why they keep attracting them in again and again.
Without working through the childhood wounds, the pain continues on in a numb sort of way. (Oh yes, we think we’re fine. At least we’re feeling better than when the narcissist ripped the bandage off of the old wound.)
The childhood pain and memories are still there; buried deep in the recesses of our heart, where we can’t see it.
If we don’t heal them, then we find ourselves back at “square one”.
And that’s a place we don’t want to find ourselves again, which is why it’s part of my comprehensive program that helps us heal, love ourselves and become narcissist-proof.
But it requires us to go deep; to a level we’ve never been to before. It’s a place where true healing occurs.
It’s one of the key components to loving ourselves, stepping into our power and having real, authentic relationships.
If I can do it, so can you.
PS: Ready to talk about your struggles, the vision for your life and how to get unstuck so you can move forward with confidence and attract healthy relationships? Book a complimentary call with me. (Just answer a few questions to get the ball rolling.) Here’s the link.
