I spoke to someone who said they read 600 self-help books in their search to heal from a relationship with a narcissist.
And they were still feeling like an emotional wreck.
I’ve talked with other’s who’ve asked exactly which book they should read, what video they should watch, or any other effective way to heal from the horrible effects of a narcissist.
They ask because their pain runs deep.
That’s because they’ve been manipulated by a master. A cunning conniver without a conscience.
This is someone who relentlessly torments us with their gaslighting, gotcha games and stonewalling until we feel like we’ve lost our sanity. And we almost have.
Their idealization of us drew us in: Hook, line and sinker.
Followed by their devaluing of us, which put us in a deep trauma bond where we keep ruminating about them, and thinking about what we should have said or could of done.
They can also make us believe that we’re the narcissist.
The entire experience is more insidious than many other traumatic events in life, because it’s a “legal crime”.
The narcissist stays under the radar of committing an actual crime because there’s no physical wounds.
They also manipulate us into doing things of our own free will that we later have regrets over. We want to say that it’s their fault, but we got sucked into happily giving them what they wanted because we believed they were telling us the truth.
When in reality, they’re a pathological liar; and they do it so well.
Then we realized we made a mistake, and it was too late.
So we find ourselves in debt or any number of difficult situations that we now have to find a way out of. And we feel hurt, angry and anxious.
We’ve lost our sense of trust in ourselves and others.
And it’s even harder when our energy has been completely drained and we’re barely functioning.
Also, many of our friends either abandoned us because they believed the lies of the narcissist, OR they stayed away because they couldn’t stand being around someone so vile. (They’re the ones who didn’t buy the charm.)
In other words, support can be lacking at a time in our life when we need it the most.
So we desperately search for answers elsewhere.
And ultimately, the pitfall is believing that the solution is “out there” somewhere.
That all we need to do is look on the internet, on YouTube or anywhere else we can go seeking. After all; Google has all the answers, right?
Here’s the truth: The answer to healing has to do with going within ourselves.
But it’s hard to do in a “social society” where we seek the answers on the web. This is where getting the right guidance comes in.
It’s a time in our life when we need to be taken by the hand, and guided to a place within us where the deep healing needs to happen.
Doing it ourselves is difficult because we “can’t read the label when we’re inside the jar”. So we need help from someone who can read it and help us to reverse the damage that’s been done.
Trying to do it ourselves can take years, and we suffer needlessly without the right support and tools.
It’s not the time to “cut corners”, but it is the time to be smart about who we get help from, and getting it from someone who’s been through it is one requirement because they understand where we’re coming from.
The other requirement is that they have the right “toolbox” so they can help us go deep to heal in a relaxing and effective way.
So get support sooner than later, and have the guidance that takes you on the right path to healing, loving yourself and stepping into your awesome power.
PS: Ready to get a taste of getting your life on track after a narcissist? Join us for Navigate Your Path to Empowerment here. And jump on a Time to Thrive call with me to look at your challenges, the vision for your life and how you can move forward with confidence. Answer a few questions and schedule here.
