Has your self-worth been annihilated by a narcissist? The truth is, only YOU can build it back. Here’s how…
As a Mind/Body Wellness Practitioner who works with women to build confidence, love themselves and get their life on track after a narcissistic relationship I can tell you this: It’s a crazy state of affairs out there, and I’ve got a ringside seat.
Here’s what I’ve experienced and what you need to know.
- Prioritize Yourself
For example, someone will book a complimentary call with me to discuss their challenges and goals and not show up. They say they “forgot” (even though they booked the call only four hours earlier), or they didn’t put it on their calendar, or any other number of reasons why.
But it really happened because they did NOT put themselves FIRST. Most likely, they were too busy thinking of other things, helping other people (or their animals) and didn’t make themselves a priority.
I realize that people are often in the “crazy scramble” stage after a narcissist where they’re busy putting out fires such as: Talking to a divorce lawyer, selling a home, dealing with custody issues, etc.
BUT this is all the more reason to keep yourself at top of mind. Remember what they say when you’re on a flight: If the oxygen mask falls, take the first breath.
We have to tend to our own needs FIRST so we can live and function effectively.
Let me ask you this:
- Are you taking your vitamins or eating foods that nourish your body?
- Are you getting your mammogram? (I have a friend that was just diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. She hadn’t been checked in years.)
- Do you feed yourself first or tend to your own needs before your children, animals, etc? (I used to feed my animals BEFORE I fed myself.)
These are just a few examples. Here’s another tip for building self-worth:
2. Invest In Yourself
Here’s an example: I’ll get on a call with a woman who says she’s desperate for help and wants to get her life on track. But when it comes time to invest in herself she says “I don’t have the money”.
Now to her, it seems perfectly logical. She has bills to pay, and things that she needs to spend money on, but it NEVER seems to be there FOR HER needs.
And then I hear: “My dog is sick and needs surgery, so I have to spend money on THAT” Or: “My child needs help, so I have to spend my money on THEM”. And in the end, they say there’s nothing left for themselves.
Is that REALLY true? When SOMEONE ELSE has to have help, we become very resourceful at finding the money.
Imagine your child or your pet has cancer and you’re told they need life saving surgery, but you’ve got to come up with some money. Would you do it?
Yes, you certainly would.
Suddenly you’d think of how you can take it out of a savings or retirement account, get credit from somewhere, borrow the money, set up a Go Fund Me account or ANY OTHER WAY POSSIBLE. And then like magic, the money is there!
But NOT when the money is needed for yourself. “Ouch!”
I’ll tell you this: Nothing says “self-love” more than putting your money where your mouth is. Investing in yourself and your own personal growth is the fastest way to start raising your self-worth.
Here’s another key:
3. Don’t Let Roadblocks Stop You
The subconscious mind is insidious. (It’s almost as insidious as the narcissist.)
It’s the majority of our mind, and it will throw roadblocks in your way when you start walking through the trauma, healing and building your self-worth.
It does this because it’s afraid of change.
It’s actually trying to keep you safe, but instead; it’s preventing you from your own personal growth. (I wrote an award-winning book on why diets don’t work, because our habits and emotions at the subconscious level take over every single time and the diets fail.)
Have you ever noticed that when you start heading toward an important goal, all hell breaks loose and suddenly you stop in your tracks like a dear in the headlights?
Suddenly crazy things start happening: Your dog runs away, the pipes are leaking, a storm hits and the internet goes out, or any number of crazy things that sometimes happen all at once.
It’s quantum physics. Our mind and emotions impact the world around us.
So here’s what you need to do: When things go wrong and roadblocks fall into your path, keep going.
Don’t allow those things to get in your way, because it creates resistance in your mind that’s often fear concealed by something else.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other and don’t stop.
I was recently doing a webinar about breaking the trauma bond and my internet went out THREE TIMES in 45 minutes. But I kept getting back online and I kept going.
I’ll be working with a client and inevitably, they tell me something distressing is happening in their life and they want to quit.
But now is not the time.
It’s actually a sign that you’re having a breakthrough, and you need to break through the roadblock.
The bottom line is to keep these three things in mind and follow them: Prioritize Yourself, Invest In Yourself and Don’t Let Roadblocks Stop You.
And you’ll be on your way to building that self-worth of yours. And, you’ll feel more confident, and more empowered in the end.
PS: Here’s three ways I can help empower you to build your self-worth, love yourself and step into your authentic life:
- Schedule a Breaking Free Clarity Call with me. Click the link here and answer a few questions to get the ball rolling.
- Join is in the Empowered Sistars Facebook group.
- Sign up for my next live event: Navigating the Healing Journey
