The breakup with the narcissist is a nightmare that drains us to our core.
It leaves us feeling disempowered, depressed and a variety of other negative emotions that feel like we’ve tried to survive inside of a blender; without knowing when the narcissist was going to press the “on” button.
In the end, there’s so much that we want, need and desire, including:
We want to become emotionally healed from the breakup, feel confident without them and have healthy boundaries.
We want to be able to trust ourselves, discover our self-worth and find our power.
But more than anything, we want to learn how to move on so we can stop ruminating and obsessing over them, and ultimately get unstuck and on track to a life of freedom from it all.
Having worked with clients to help them heal after a relationship with a narcissist (“narc”) and turn things around, I know we:
- Feel like we’re struggling to cut the cord with the narc.
- Are experiencing PTSD and fight or flight responses, especially after the fallout from the truth bombs.
- In utter shock and disbelief that the love we thought existed, never really did.
- Were on a scary roller coaster that felt like the wheels were going to fly off at any moment.
- Are dealing with the “flying monkeys” that make our life a living hell with their own form of abuse.
- Are seeing the narc brag on social media about their great new life.
- Have mutual friends that believe the narc and side with them.
- Are dealing with the narc alienating our children.
- Experience the paranoid narc keeping their eye on what we do and say because they want to keep up appearances.
- Know there’s a new supply to replace us and we wonder if we should try to warn them.
- Find that the narc tries to keep us around even if they’ve discarded us, making it harder to break free.
- Feel like we’re completely alone, doing role play on what we could have said, and what we shouldn’t have done.
- Worst of all, we’re questioning our own sanity after all of the gaslighting, and we’ve probably been financially drained by the narcissist too.
Having been through it myself and through my own healing and helping others do the same, I’ve come up with for pillars to take our power back and get on track in life:
Pillar One is Quantum Trauma Healing. First, we need to break the trauma bond and heal decades of trauma and abuse so we don’t fall into a relationship with a narcissist again. (Not healing past trauma is why we get drawn into the love-bombing in the first place.)
We must also work on healing PTSD, relieve feelings of fight or flight, grief, anger, anxiety, depression AND obsessing so we can experience calm and inner peace.
Pillar Two is Raising Self-Worth, which is important after being de-valued by the narcissist.
In this pillar we eliminate negative thoughts that erode our self-worth such as guilt, remorse and regret so we can be free of worrying about the past and wondering what we could have said, or what we shouldn’t have done.
We step into self-love in a powerful way, so that we can discover our worth and value who you really are. We use tools for building confidence so we can have strong, healthy boundaries and feel good about ourselves.
Pillar Three is Create Abundant Energy. Narcissistic abuse is energy draining, so we need to increase our energy level and raise our emotional state so we can feel more joy in our life.
We also must raise our money frequency and shift the focus from lack to creating positive financial outcomes so we can experience more abundance on ALL levels of our life.
Pillar Four is Custom Life Creation. We need to get clarity around our true hearts desire for our future, what our core values are and create our life mission statement, so that we have a clear path to walk down.
Then we need to deconstruct fears and beliefs around our future so that we can step fully into your own life.
In the end, working through these four pillars raises our energy, allows us to find our power, and ultimately live a life on our terms.
PS: To learn more about Navigating the Healing Journey after a relationship with a narcissist, Click Here and sign up for my next free masterclass. You’re also welcome to join us in the Empowered Sistars Facebook group.
