After a breakup with a narcissist, we can be left wondering if we’ll ever find mister (or misses) right.
But then again, we can be so engrossed in ruminating about the narcissist and a relationship that can never work, that we stay stuck spinning our wheels which blocks any hope of finding the right one.
Then somewhere down the line we’ll dream of having that loving relationship that’s been out of reach.
However, there’s a process to getting there.
Attracting a loving partner starts with US. (I learned this through divorces, including twice to narcissists and finally getting the help I needed.)
Instead of focusing on them, there’s three areas that WE need to work on:
1. Healing past trauma.
2. Loving ourselves first.
3. Living authentically.
I’ll explain…
If we haven’t healed trauma that goes ALL the way back to our childhood, we leave ourselves vulnerable to being idealized by someone toxic because it’s like a comforting salve on an open wound. (Until it turns dark, and then we end up with even MORE trauma that needs healing.)
If we don’t love ourselves, then we look to others to love-bomb us and we know how that turns out. (Brutal.)
When we’re not living authentically, then we attract someone who’s not aligned with who we are.
Have you seen the movie Runaway Bride where she tries to fit the mold of every guy she dates? (A great example.)
In order to be authentic, we need to dive deep into who we REALLY are, which includes knowing our core values, not to mention the limiting beliefs that are blocking us, among other things.
And many women are walking around without a clue of what that looks like, even if they THINK they’re on top of it.
The problem is we think we can do it all on our own. And as Dr. Phil says “how’s that workin’ for ya?”
If you’re finding yourself down the road in life and you’re still not where you want to be when it comes to relationships, I get it. (Been there, done that.)
But with the right combination of deep healing tools and intuitive guidance, we can receive the help we need to make the awesome transition in a relaxed, supportive and loving way.
Otherwise, we risk repeating the same pattern over and over again.
And often, similar patterns have been in our family for generations.
So when we work on ourselves, we not only improve our chances of finding that soulmate we’ve craved, but we put an end to the “family insanity” and that impacts the world as well.
And what a beautiful thing that is: Love radiating everywhere.
PS: Looking for 1:1 help? Click here to schedule your complimentary clarity call with me and let’s discover your next steps.
You’re also welcome to join the Facebook group: Women Healing After A Narcissist