Healing A Trauma Bond Ruminating After A Narcissist

Letting Go Of Ruminating After A Narcissist

Ruminating (getting stuck in our head) after a breakup with a narcissist is common, and not surprising.

After all, it’s been a shock to the system. We may be:

  • Feeling PTSD after being unexpectedly discarded by the narcissist, who is now bragging about their new life that we knew nothing about.
  • In utter disbelief that the love we thought existed; never really did.
  • Struggling to cut the cord and let go when they continue to lie and pretend they still love us.
  • Realizing we were manipulated for years by a master con artist.
  • Missing someone that we know was awful to us, but we still can’t get over them.
  • Finding that the narcissist is using friends or family members as “flying monkeys” to slander us.
  • Feeling lost after years of covert abuse and now believing we’re worthless. 
  • Wondering if we should contact the “new supply” and warn them, but we suspect they won’t believe us.
  • Trying to heal the trauma bond, get stronger and improve our self-esteem which has been completely shattered.

How’s that for starters? And yes, the list goes on.

When these things happen, it’s no wonder our head is spinning, which is exactly why we need to get out of it.

Out of our head you say? That’s exactly right.

Spinning in our head keeps us all uptight, analytical and exhausted.

It wears us out even further, as if we’re not already worn out enough from the energy sucking vampire of a narcissist. We also end up depressed and anxious.

When we’re depressed, we’re focused on the past. When we’re anxious, we’re worried about the future.

The way to relax, and get into a state of mental peace is with meditation and relaxation techniques.

Here’s how it benefits us:

  • It brings our focus into the present moment so we’re less worried and depressed.
  • It “grounds” us, by bringing our attention out of our head and back into our body (and our heart).
  • We get more rest, which helps our thinking and clarity.
  • It helps us to feel more powerful and effective.
  • It reconnects us with who we really are, since we’ve become disconnected from ourselves due to the manipulation of a narcissist.

There’s resources available to help us with this. After all, we’re too exhausted at this point to figure things out on our own.

We can be guided to relax and meditate, which is truly a life-saver.

So, let go of the worry and know there’s support and tools out there.

And when we use them we heal, love ourselves and get our life on track; and ultimately feel better: Mentally, emotionally and physically.

PS: Looking for help and healing after a narcissist? Join my Facebook group for tips and support, and you’ll find relaxing guided meditations on my YouTube channel.

You may also like...