Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Relationships After A Narcissist

Getting Into Relationships After A Narcissist

“There’s plenty of fish in the sea” they said. (And a few sharks thrown in for good measure.)

If you’ve gotten out of a relationship with a narcissist; whether you were discarded or you managed to get out of your own accord (congrats), it’s time to exercise extreme caution.

We have to avoid the proverbial rebound, and maybe attracting in another unsavory character.

This is a time when the only relationship we should be having is with ourselves.

It’s not that we should live in fear of ever getting involved with someone else, but the narcissist was a wakeup call that told us we need to do deep self-healing.

And the truth is, there was healing to be done before the narcissist showed up, which is why we attracted them in. (Not to be rude because I’ve been there myself, it’s just facts).

So we’ve got some cleanup to do.

This is when the term “self-help” comes into play, and also getting the guidance and support from someone with the right tools who can get us there more quickly than we can on our own.

This isn’t to say that we just need a magic wand, because time still does help us heal; we just want to avoid focusing on the narcissist and anyone else that pops in that could interrupt the process.

It’s the age old story: When we love and respect ourselves, then we attract in the right person, and we don’t need someone else to fill the void. (The love-bombing filled an empty hole in our soul from past trauma and grief.)

Personally, I was at a point where I really wasn’t interested. To me, a relationship was in the distant future somewhere; maybe. And marriage? Never!

But as they say: Never say never.

Because at one point someone accidentally stumbled into my life. Not only was I not looking, but I kept him at arms length at first.

Over time, I knew that he was not of the “narcissistic persuasion” and was a good person that I could spend my life with.

These things happen when we’re not looking. 

So, go forward and focus on you. Take that step to go within and heal. Work through the layers that have built up over time.

Instead of paying attention to others, this is a time to really focus on you.

Then if and when the time is right, you never know who might appear. And you won’t need to go looking for them.

PS: Looking for healing and support after a relationship with a narcissist? Join the Facebook group.

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