Fifteen years ago I wrote an award-winning book about why “die-its” don’t work.
Some of it was in my head based on years of experience. Some of it was learned by becoming certified in mind-body wellness, and some of it was intuitive.
I was inspired to write it after seeing the hoards of women show up for free weight loss clinics when I was getting my clinical certification in hypnotherapy.
There’s an obvious issue.
It’s certainly the biggest health problem (no pun intended), because our outside is a reflection of our inside.
I worked in that area for awhile, and also went down a path of other healing modalities (including working with animals), and then circled back to this topic of women and their weight.
You see, I started making chocolates because it was fun and a bit challenging. I wanted to master the art of tempering chocolate and making caramels. nougats, toffees and truffles. And because, I love chocolate.
But the really interesting part came when I sold them at markets. It was as though the powers that be were saying:
“See? This is the problem!”
Here’s what happened:
- Women would see my table of chocolates and would have the look of fear on their face and would steer clear of me.
- Some of them would take a sample, say that it was “amazing” and then change their mind about buying and walk away.
- Many of them would say they loved it, but would have various excuses around deprivation such as “I’m trying to be good”.
- Or they would say “if I buy it, I’ll eat the whole box in one sitting”. (Well then, you’ve got a problem that needs solving.)
But the most interesting encounter, was with a women who happily bought the chocolate and said “I’ve lost 300 pounds by understanding my EMOTIONS behind eating, and knowing that depriving myself wasn’t the answer.”
I went from giving my book to women who bought chocolates, to giving it to women who DIDN’T buy chocolates.
And Then There’s “Holiday Insanity”
In November and December, the same people that were depriving themselves in summer and “trying to be good” would come back to gorge themselves.
For some reason, the holiday season is a time when women let go and go crazy with food they perceive to be “bad” and stuff themselves, only to cut themselves off again in January, with the belief that they can once again deprive themselves and actually get weight loss results.
How’s that working for you??? Are you tired of it yet?
I saw chocolate sales in January drop to one-tenth of what they were in December, and the same fearful look of “oh no, I can’t have that” came back by popular demand.
The truth is: Erratic chocolate sales are a reflection of the ineffective yo-yo dieting in our society.
After all, some of the skinniest women I know eat chocolate EVERY DAY.
Deprivation Isn’t The Answer
All of the yo-yo dieting insanity isn’t going to solve anything, because it’s really about balance.
Savoring life and food YEAR ROUND without deprivation, and healing the stress and emotions that are driving the binging followed by deprivation is the only long term solution.
When we get our inner self into balance, the outer self automatically balances out, without the need of thousands of diet books. (Because none of them have the true solution.)
Our weight isn’t something we can “control”, and letting go is a better solution.
We’ve Lost The Connection
At the core of the issue is that we’re a society that’s disconnected with ourselves. We search the internet and everywhere else for answers, rather than look within.
It’s an inside job, because that’s where everything stems from when it comes to our emotions and habits. So, getting re-connected with ourselves is where the magic happens.
When we get in touch with our inner core, our subconscious mind, or whatever term you wish to use; then we can heal and solve the problem.
I Get It
I understand how hard that is because I’ve been there. I’m one of the most analytical people I know, and being in my head hasn’t helped myself. In fact, it’s kept me stuck at times.
However, I’m great at understanding what’s REALLY going on with other people, and that’s what my superpower is.
So, if you’re feeling stuck in this area, you’re not alone. Trust me, I’ve seen it with my own eyes.
And when you’ve been through trauma, bingeing can be a problem.
PS: Speaking of trauma, you’re welcome to join me in the group: Women Healing After A Narcissist. You’ll find us here.